How to get rid of self doubt
Having spent most of my life having self doubts about myself, I feel I am now at a place where I feel more comfortable talking about this.
Self doubt is crippling and debilitating. On the outside you do your utmost to appear confident, but inside you feel a failure and there is absolutely no reason for it.
The fact is that when you allow yourself to be filled with self-doubt, you are stopping yourself from moving towards your purpose in life. It literally holds you back from being the real you and not enjoying a fulfilling and purposeful life.
A lot of people suffer with this and may not even know it.
- Constantly compare yourself to others and feel that they are better, more educated, more confident than you?
- Feel uncomfortable in group surroundings for fear you will say something stupid?
- Rarely step out of your comfort zone?
- Struggle to maintain friendships or keep people at a distance?
- Feel like a failure and turn to negative feelings to comfort yourself?
- Put off arranging parties or events for fear that no one will turn up?
- Make belittling comments about your achievements to people?
If this is you, it is time to stop.
Follow our guide:
Never put yourself down or belittle your successes in front of anyone
We live in a world where we have to be careful what we say at work, on social media, at school, to friends and even to family members. If we talk about our achievements, some people around you may feel insecure, but that is their problem, not yours. If you have friends or people around you that appear to like you more when you are in a rut and are more distant when you are doing well, these people are not your friends.
Surround yourself with the right people.
You are allowed to be happy and successful regardless of how you believe others see you. Never belittle your successes around others to make them feel better. Being excited about your achievements does not make you a boastful person and it equally does not mean that you are not humble. The right people will be there for you regardless of whether you are doing well or not. My advice is to keep your personal life private around the people who make you feel uncomfortable. You literally cannot go wrong with this method.
NEVER compare your life to others
Social media has an affect that portrays an unrealistic interpretation of peoples lives. No one is happy all the time, we all have ups and downs. Some people do tend to put their whole life on social media, but the majority usually shows the best bits. Be under no illusion, nobody’s life is perfect, including the lives of those people who appear happy all the time. Behind the scenes everyone has problems but some choose not to share those on social media. You should never compare your life to someone else’s, because if you actually knew what was going on in other peoples lives, you would choose to keep your own problems.
People do not care what you do or say (unless you are being mean or hurtful)
If you are a nice person, you do not say horrible things to people and/or get involved in other peoples business, why would anyone say anything negative about you. We are at times so focussed on what other people think of us. The reality is that everyone else is either doing the same thing or too busy worrying about their own issues. When an achievement is highlighted and a slight comment is made, we immediately over analyse it. This is because we experience a heightened sense of self-consciousness and this distorts our view on how we believe others may view us. If you spend your days constantly analysing what people think of you, you are literally wasting the time you have on this earth. If you find yourself constantly doing this, click here for guidance on how to use the worry tree.
Take criticism with a pinch of salt
People love to criticise each other at work, on social media, at school, amongst friends and unfortunately even family members. Some people know exactly what they are doing, and others (with good intentions) are genuinely trying to help you. I am open to constructive criticism but when it’s just someone being mean, I try my utmost to ignore it. Best advice is to listen to what is being said and be really honest with yourself. If it is constructive criticism, work on it. If it is mean, ignore it and try not to retaliate (or feed the troll).
Here is a great quote from David Brinkley: “A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her“.
Let your light shine!
Happy people are infectious. Lift your head up when you walk. Stop worrying about what you think people think of you and live your life to the fullest. Stop being afraid of success. Keep moving forward and don’t dwell on your past failures. Those failures are experiences that have brought you to where you are today. Be thankful for them, learn from them and keep moving forward. You are good enough. Work on your self esteem (click here for guidance). Be a good person, kind, hard working, honest, friendly and reliable and people will love you for who you are.
If you feel that you need further medical help with this, click below:
For guidance on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy click here.
For guidance on Counselling click here.
For guidance on how to use the worry tree click here.